It is Monday.  I was supposed to get out of the house and go to work.  Away from the family.  But what is happening?  A f(bleeping)ing Nor'easter, we have about a million inches of snow, and it is coming down hard.  I am stuck for another day in the with the family.  Ugh!  I love them to death but three days in the house with these human beings is enough to drive anyone CRAZY!

Crap.
Another boring post.

OK, so I wrote an earlier post, that I deleted because it was too raunchy.

See, I am bored.  Really bored.  I am a wife, mother, student, and mental health provider, but I am bored with my life.  I feel like I work and meet my responsibilities constantly, but I have no fun.  I am a Sagittarius, a fire sign, and I need to be entertained.  I have to say that I rarely have any time alone with my husband, as we have two young kids.  Which means we have no intimate time either.  Children are the anti-sex.  I am so tired that I have no desire.  I feel haggard looking. 

I need to exercise, as I am quite sedentary in the winter.  I barely got out of my PJs all weekend, and I did just to go to get some groceries.  Yes that was my wild night out.  I have gained the 7 pounds that I lost a while back which again makes me feel as sexy as Kelly's dog Sam.  OK Sam is a bit sexier.  I am one of those bored housewives, and am wondering how the fuck a saucy girl like me got so damn boring. 

I used to be hot.  Blond, thin, long haired, great skin, and now I am old fat and haggard.  I used to create art.  Inks, and watercolors were my favorite mediums.  I have not painted in years.  What happened?  Two words RESPONSIBILITY, KIDS, ETC.  I am a whiny ass now.  Look back at all of my posts in the last three months, whiny ass, and boring as hell.  Sigh.

See even this post is boring.
End of pathetically boring post.

My sweet son is the most stubborn creature on this earth, and flatly refuses to use the potty.  He is 4 years and 4 months old.  I want to just stop buying pull-ups and start putting him in underwear and face the result of it.  The problem is that when we introduced underwear he refused to put them on.  I am at my wits end on this issue.

Edit:
We have tried stickers.  We have tried chocolate.  We have tried matchbox cars.  We even bought really big gifts and said that if he goes on the potty he will get it.  He does not want to go to the bathroom on the potty.  I have accepted that this child will be the first teenager in diapers.  :-)

OK...

So I am sitting in front of my computer on New Year's Eve, after just dominating my husband in Scrabble.  Does that make me a total bore?  Nope.  It makes me a Mommy.  John and I are hanging out at home tonight.  The kids are in the tub supervised by Daddy.  And here I sit at the computer.  I am OK with that. 

New Year's Eve is such a setup.  There are probably tons of people out there that are feeling down and depressed because they have no where to go, or no crowd to be with.  So, I am going to send some positive energy out to the people that feel invisible, forgotten, and alone.  I hope that you find the peace and happiness that you are looking for.

A toast

OK...

So a friend of mine bought me this Itune...  Hmmmmm....

Love it!

So today I received some good news, and bad news?, and some post party news.

My test results came back for my cholesterol which went from 250's to 207.  WOOT!
That is the great news.

My doctor called me.  The last time a doctor called me on the phone I had to get my appendix out.  The time before I had to be treated with an IV for my Lyme.   My Lyme disease test came back, another positive test.  My levels are high.  However, my levels were high last year as well, and they chose not to do any treatment because they were not sure if it was active Lyme.  MRI test showed a spot last year, but they did not know how to interpret that spot.  WTF?  If I am strongly positive, and have a spot on my brain, and no one knows why that is, what do I do?  They have the degrees, not me.  There are two entirely different schools of thought when it comes to Lyme Disease.  One is that Lyme Disease is a chronic illness with episodes of activity, and the other school is that Lyme Disease is a one time thing.  Treat it and then it is done.
I really do not know what to think.  The treatment for Lyme is brutal, IV antibotics for a month with a PIC line directly into your body.  The treatment made me feel worse than the disease.  Am I wanting to go through that again?  NO.
Am I going to continue to feel the symptoms forever?  Fatigued, cognitive issues, irritability.  The doctor is referring me again to the infectious disease doctors in Portland.  Not sure what they are going to say.   Last time they asked me what I wanted to do.  And that was incredibly annoying, because for starters I DO NOT HAVE A MEDICAL DEGREE.  Frustrating.  I am so tired.  I am so bitchy.  I cannot remember shit.  Not good when I am dealing with clients regularly. 

As far as the party, I have realized that I do not like to have any needs, and when I do I want to meet them on my own, without help.  Being needy makes me feel awful, so I then turn it inward and become angry with myself.  This is my destructive cycle.  I need to work on this.  You are all my witnesses. 

I found out that I got an A in one of my classes.  The grades are electronic, so as soon as the professor grades it she puts it online.  The other grade I am not sure about, she does not grade online.  School is now out, and I have offically made it through my first semester of graduate school.  WOOT!

That is it, my update.  I am tired, and bitchy, but I am done with school.  Now I can get back to watching those soaps :-)  Kidding.  I seriously cannot wait to start my new book, "The Secret Life of Bees". 

World AIDS Day

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